


Finding Christmas

by ckksac



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 10:06:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13121505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ckksac/pseuds/ckksac
Summary: It's been nine months since the events of The Darkest Hour. Slowly, Oliver and Felicity put their lives back together. However, as Christmas approaches, Oliver unexpectedly finds himself growing more remote as he struggles between missing his mother and being angry for missing her. As a result he lashes out at those closest to him until Felicity sets him on a path to rediscover the joy of the season.If you have not read The Darkest Hour....this probably won't make much sense!





	Finding Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> I gotta have some angst. I love a story with good angst even after a happily ever after. So, this is Oliver and Felicity about to spend their first holiday together after the events of The Darkest Hour. The focus here is Oliver. I wanted to explore his complex feelings about his mother a bit more.
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

Oliver walked into his office and froze. There were poinsettias in his office. Everywhere. By the low couches, near the windows, and in the back corner by the wall to the conference room. On the small coffee table, a bowl of red and gold ornaments sat in the center. On his desk, a mini-poinsettia rested near his computer monitor. Oliver stared at the poinsettias, wanting to claw at the feeling welling inside him. He swallowed several times as he stared at the first signs of Christmas in his office.

“Mrs. Morris?” he called, staring at the offending plants. His voice was harsh. Clipped. Oliver waited until his secretary joined him. He motioned around the room. “What exactly is this?”

Mrs. Morris looked around and then up at him with confusion. 

“I don’t understand, Mr. Queen.”

“The plants,” Oliver said carefully, trying not to grit his teeth. 

“They’re poinsettias, Mr. Queen,” Mrs. Morris explained completely oblivious to Oliver’s inner turmoil. “Your mother’s….that is, Regina, your mother’s former secretary left me a binder.”

Oliver waited but Mrs. Morris didn’t continue. She just stood there as if that explained everything. 

“And this binder…..” Oliver prompted after another moment of silence.

“This is the December office,” Mrs. Morris replied, frowning in confusion. 

“What is the binder, Mrs. Morris?”

“It’s the office binder for seasonal decorations. Every senior executive office has one and then the building has a binder for the common areas. Of course, that binder is updated more frequently...just in case holiday decorations need freshening. I updated this office last month, removing the Victorian pinks to something more masculine,” Mrs. Morris offered, smiling proudly at the office. Oliver closed his eyes.

“Remove the poinsettias, Mrs. Morris. All of them. Get rid of any Christmas decorations. I’m going to get coffee. When I get back, I want them all gone.”

“But Mr. Queen! It’s Christmas and this is the December office.”

“Mrs. Morris. I’m not my mother. Get rid of them. And the binder.”

Oliver spun on his heel and left his secretary floundering. He pushed the down button on the executive elevator with more force than necessary. He hadn’t realized that in the nine months since he took over as QC’s CEO, his secretary had been decorating his office according to the seasons. Now, it made all made sense. The flower displays in the summer, the pinecones in the fall….wait, wasn’t there some argument over a cornucopia? He couldn’t remember. He closed his eyes as he rode the elevator down. The image of his mother, dying in that damn warehouse on the docks flashed across his mind. As always, pain accompanied that image. Only this time, it was sharper than usual. Darkness pressed in on him and he struggled to breath. In the nine months since Tommy’s reign of terror ended, Oliver was the happiest he had ever been. Day by day, week by week, he and Felicity put the pieces of their lives back together. Not once had he felt the darkness. Until today. Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath just as the elevator announced its arrival to the lobby.

Oliver strode out of the elevator only to come to an abrupt stop. Waiting for him in the lobby was the most beautiful woman in the world. The tension inside him eased and despite the fact she was standing there with one eyebrow raised and her arms crossed in front of her, he smiled at the sight of her. She frowned and he winked at her.

“Don’t try to charm me, Oliver Queen,” Felicity said, her foot starting to tap. Oliver couldn’t help it; he outright grinned at her. 

“But I’m so good at it,” he protested good naturedly and he watched Felicity’s lips twitch. She held back the smile though. Instead, she heaved a sigh and shook her head.

“You scared that poor woman, Oliver.”

“Mrs. Morris?”

“Who else? Are there other people you scared today?”

“Wait, how did you….”

He didn’t bother to finish his sentence as Felicity held up a cell phone before crossing her arms again.

“Well?” she asked. “Do you want to explain why you snapped over poinsettias?”

“I can’t believe she called you,” he muttered. He raked a hand through his hair, completely cognizant of the fact that he sounded like a petulant teenager. 

“Oliver….” Felicity said in warning and he shifted uncomfortably. He tried to shrug it off but Felicity started shaking her head.

“Oh no. You don’t get to pretend everything is fine. Something is going on with you and has been for weeks.”

“Nothing is going on. I just don’t feel….Christmasy,” Oliver protested, wincing at how lame he sounded.  

“You don’t feel Christmasy?” Felicity repeated, her arms dropping to her sides. She tilted her head to study him and Oliver met her gaze steadily. Her expressions softened and she moved closer, taking one of his hands.

“I don’t know, Felicity. I just….all of this….this wasn’t my thing. It was my….Thea and my….” Oliver gestured helplessly unable to say what he wanted to say.

“Your mom usually did all the Christmas stuff,” Felicity finished for him. “She and Thea would run around, planning the holiday, while you and your Dad just sat back and did what they ordered.”

“I just can’t get into it this year. Not after everything,” he explained. “The decorations, the music...and the party. God, I’m so glad we’re not having a party. I don’t think I could take it.”

Something flashed in Felicity’s eyes but it was gone before he could figure out what it was. She moved closer and slid her arms around his neck. Raising up on her toes, she brushed her lips with his own and then pressed her cheek to his. Oliver closed his eyes, his hands coming up to grip her hips. 

“This is more like it,” he said quietly as he nuzzled her neck. He could care less if anyone saw them. Besides, they were still in the relatively private vestibule outside the executive elevator. Not many people ventured this way. He pressed his lips against her neck and felt her pulse jump. As she moved her lips to his ear, he sighed in anticipation. God, he loved this woman.

“You will apologize to Mrs. Morris when you get back from having coffee,” she whispered in his ear and pulled away from him, caressing his cheek with one hand to lessen the sting of her rebuke. He sighed, but nodded in agreement.

“And the poinsettias stay,” she continued. When he opened his mouth to argue, she held up a hand. “The poinsettias stay. All of the decorations stay. Mrs. Morris worked hard on making sure your office was decorated to something that would be unlike your mother’s decorations. She didn’t want to make you sad. She was trying to make you happy.”

“I know,” Oliver admitted. “I’ll apologize.”

“Good. And Oliver? Please don’t forget that this isn’t easy for Thea either.”

“Or you,” Oliver added and Felicity just shrugged like she wasn’t important. But Oliver saw the sadness and fear swirl briefly in her eyes before they cleared.

“Go,” she said, pushing him towards the entrance of the building. “I’ll see you later tonight.”

“Come with me,” Oliver cajoled capturing her hand with his and twining their fingers together. Felicity shook her head.

“I have a meeting. Apologize, Oliver. She’s simply doing her job and you’re not giving her a lot of guidance. She’s as new to this as you are. You’re lucky she stayed with you.”

“I should have kept Regina,” Oliver muttered and Felicity laughed. 

“Nope. You didn’t need two secretaries. Besides, you terrified Regina when you exploded over the Thanksgiving decorations in your office.”

“Wait, what?” Oliver searched his memory, and then winced. Oh. That’s what happened with the cornucopia. 

“That was the first time, Oliver. And ever since then, there have been other things. Including ripping Thea’s head off when she began planning your family’s annual Christmas Eve party.”

“My mother is dead. There’s no reason….” Oliver began stiffly but Felicity placed a finger over his lips.

“There’s every reason,” she said softly and she gazed up at him in empathy and something else he couldn’t quite place. “Go have coffee. Calm down. And come back and apologize.”

Felicity pushed the button on the elevator and stepped inside before he could say anything else. He watched the doors close and whisk her away to the IT Department which she now ran. He wondered if there were poinsettias in her office. Or, perhaps there was a menorah. Since Chanukah started just a few days ago, she probably had both. That was just Felicity’s way.

* * *

As Christmas drew closer, Oliver felt increasingly grim. The night after “poinsettiascape,” he growled over the Christmas decorations in the club. Mistletoe was strategically placed around the club and lights adorned the exposed beams giving the club a glittering look. Again, red and gold ornaments, nestled in deep green garland, lined the bar and railings. He was starting to hate red and gold. However, when Felicity captured him under some mistletoe, he grudgingly acknowledged the handiness of some decorations. 

“I’m so glad,” she had said and then again, like outside the elevator, raised herself onto her toes and pressed her body against his. She whispered in his ear something so unexpected, he wanted to drag her down to the lair and have her do exactly what she just whispered. Then she whispered that he owed Thea an apology for giving her the Green Arrow face when he saw the Christmas decorations. After giving him another long, slow kiss filled with the promise of  _ more _ , she walked away. He immediately apologized to Thea and then found Felicity to drag her from the club.

The following Monday night, he came home from work to find Felicity and Thea in the living room, heads bent over a clipboard. He smiled, happy to find Felicity at the manor. Despite their engagement, Felicity still refused to move in with him and Thea. Although they never spent a night apart, alternating between her townhome and the manor, he liked finding her at the manor. He wanted her to feel at home there. He wondered if the ghost of his mother would make it impossible for her to live there. He hadn’t broached the topic.  _ Because you’re afraid of the answer _ , he told himself as he slid his arms Felicity. She immediately leaned back, angling her head so he could kiss her cheek.

“Hey, Speedy,” he said in between kisses on Felicity’s soft cheek. He leaned over to drop a kiss on Thea’s cheek and then paused when he saw the clipboard. He dropped his arms from Felicity’s waist and took the clipboard from Thea.

“What’s this?” he asked quietly, studying it intently. He caught the wary look Thea threw Felicity. He frowned. Did he look that frightening again? 

“Um, the floor plan for the Christmas Eve party,” Thea explained, her hands fluttered nervously. Oliver shot her a look, missing the hesitation in her voice. Images of past parties crept into his mind and he physically flinched. He pushed them away, pretending the memory of his mother’s laughter, or his father’s booming voice didn’t affect him. 

“I thought we agreed we didn’t need to do that anymore,” Oliver said, his jaw clenching. From the corner of his eye, he saw Felicity make a motion to Thea. He turned so fast, Felicity took a step back. Then she narrowed her eyes at him and took a deliberate step forward.

“We’re thinking of enclosing the patio,” Felicity said, a warning plain in her voice.  _ Your messing up….big time…. _ she seemed to be saying. “Add more space so we can set up small seating areas. We thought that would make the party more intimate.”

“These have always been formal events,” Oliver began and Felicity nodded in agreement.

“Yes, but this year is different,” Thea put in softly. “It will still be formal, but also softer. More about family, about Christmas, than about status. A traditional event but now one that is our own. All of ours,” Thea added, gesturing to him and Felicity.

“You don’t even celebrate Christmas,” Oliver said to Felicity and she rolled her eyes. Oliver and Thea were experiencing their first Chanukah and she was having fun teaching them. It was the only time Oliver felt more like himself. Right now, he realized that was likely due to Chanukah having no association with his mother. 

“Just because I’m Jewish doesn’t mean I can’t celebrate Christmas with you and Thea. Your traditions will be part of mine now.” 

She said it so simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world that Oliver flushed and looked away. He flipped through the clipboard and came across the guest list. It had numerous notes on it. He recognized Thea’s handwriting as well as Felicity’s. And saw notes from his mother, too. He swallowed. Oliver handed it back.

“We’re not doing it,” he said and turned to go into the study. Thea opened her mouth but Felicity shook her head. 

“Too late,” she said cheerfully, pulling Thea further into the living room with her. “Invites went out the day after Thanksgiving. Come if you want. Don’t come. I plan to be there. And my dress? It’s  _ amazing _ .”

Oliver stopped for a moment, arrested by the thought of Felicity in a formal gown. He forced himself to keep walking, ignoring the disappointed stares of the two most important women in his life. As soon as he closed the door to the study, he poured himself a scotch, and then another. The next thing he knew, he was waking up to Felicity sitting across from him, dressed for work. She stared at him thoughtfully for a minute before rising to her feet. She walked over to him and smoothed her cool fingers across his brow. She leaned in and kissed his cheek.

“When you’re ready to talk, I’m ready to listen.”

After another gentle kiss, she walked out of the study, leaving him to his thoughts.

 

* * *

Oliver headed for the Foundry before the office, needing to work off some of the tension. He took his frustrations out on a heavy bag. About thirty minutes in, Diggle showed up. Silently, they moved to the mats and began sparring. Frustration boiled through Oliver and something else, something he didn’t want to acknowledge. He went at Diggle who gave back as he good as he got until they both collapsed on the mats, exhausted.

“Feel better?” Diggle asked after accepting Oliver’s hand and rising to his feet. He took the water Oliver handed him, eyeing his friend. He looked miserable. And weighed down.

“Not really. Felicity call you?”

Diggle nodded, wiping his face with a towel. He pulled a sweatshirt on and then leaned against on of Felicity’s computer desks.

“Want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Oliver repeated, turning away. He picked up one of his arrows and examined the tip.

“Uh huh. Maybe you should,” Diggle said.

“How’s the baby?” Oliver asked instead and Diggle shook his head.

“She’s great. Lyla’s great. We’re great. Excited for Christmas,” Diggle said watching Oliver carefully. He saw him flinch.  _ Felicity’s right _ , Diggle thought,  _ this has something to do with Christmas. _

“That’s great,” Oliver mumbled, picking up the next arrow in the case.

“Lyla and I are looking forward to your Christmas party,” Diggle casually added, noting the added tension to Oliver’s frame.

“Yeah,” was all he said and Diggle sighed. He clapped a hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“It’s okay to grieve her. It’s okay to miss her. Despite the utterly horrible things she did, she was your mother. She loved Thea. She loved you.”

Oliver said nothing. He just picked up the next arrow and began examining his tip. When Diggle finally left, Oliver bowed his head, eyes tightly shut against the memories of Christmas’ past.

Later that week, he came home to find a tent enclosing the patio and the furniture gone from the living room. He stood in the middle of the room, furious. He was furious at himself for being furious. He was angry that his mother was ruining his first Christmas with Felicity. The woman was dead and she was ruining what should be a magical time. Deep down, Oliver felt guilty. He missed his mother. And he felt awful for missing her. She was the cause of so much pain in the life of the woman he loved. But he missed her. Every single day, he missed her.

“Oh, there you are,” Felicity exclaimed as she walked in with two color swatches draped over her arm. Turning, Oliver started to smile until he saw the red and gold material. His smile faded and he glared.

“What the fuck is going on here?” he growled, gesturing at the empty room. Felicity stopped and stared at him. She didn’t answer.

“Well?” he asked. “I thought I was pretty clear. No party this year.”

Felicity took a breath, her cheeks flushing with color.

“And I thought I was pretty clear. The invites went out the day after Thanksgiving.”

“So? Cancel it.” He spun on one heel to walk out of the room.

“No.”

She said it so quietly that Oliver almost didn’t hear her. He turned back slowly and met her gaze. Her eyes were brittle and cold as they glared at him. He hadn’t seen that look on her face since….well, since before.

“You may not want a party, Oliver Jonas Queen, and you may not want to celebrate Christmas. But your sister? This means everything to her. She wants to create something new….something new with you and with me. A new tradition made from some of the good memories you and your family made over the years.”

“There are other things….”

“No! This is what she wants and this is what I want. You? You can go sulk at the office all night on Sunday for all I care. Stay in the lair, stay in a hotel. I. Don’t. Care. But what you will not do is ruin this for Thea or me.”

“My mother….”

“Is dead, Oliver. And she did some pretty awful things. But you know what? She also did some pretty amazing things and one of those things was to raise a son like you.”

“After everything she did, you can forgive her?”

“Yes,” Felicity said simply. “I couldn’t for a long time until one day, I looked around and I saw you. Thea. Diggle and Lyla and their new baby. My family. And I realized, I would kill for any one of you, so yes. I can, and I do, forgive her. It’s time you did, too.”

“Felicity…..”

“No more, Oliver. No more. Figure out what you’re going to do. Figure out a way to find...I don’t know….some peace. Find Christmas, for God’s sake, Oliver.”

This time, Felicity spun on her heel and left the room.

* * *

Oliver stared out into the dark night, his breath fogging the glass of the French doors that led to the east patio. He heard the low murmur of voices as guests began arriving. He should be out there, greeting guests. Instead, he hid in his mother’s study...no dammit,  _ his _ study…..listening to Thea play hostess. He didn’t hear Felicity, but knew she would be joining Thea soon. He had to get out there before she came downstairs. He was already on her shit list. He didn’t want to make it any worse. He didn’t move, though. Just stared out over the frozen landscape, his eyes hot and dry. 

Oliver wanted so badly to revel in this Christmas season. He had every reason to be joyful. Tommy was behind bars. Thea was safe and thriving. Felicity….his face softened at the thought of Felicity. She was perfect. Everything he needed, wanted...everything he never thought he could have. And she was his. Even better, he was her’s and he couldn’t imagine belonging to anyone else. He clung to that sense of belonging; of having something that was his alone. He marveled at her capacity to forgive, to grow, and to leave the horror of her nightmare behind. There should have been nothing but joy during this Christmas season. Yet, he could not find it. Instead, his mind returned over and over to his mother. The moment he cut her from his life for what she did to Felicity. The moment she died, believing he hated her. That she wasn’t here, reigning over a holiday tradition she began in her first year of marriage.

Felicity’s words came back to haunt him. He just couldn’t find the joy. The spirit of the season. He couldn’t seem to find the capacity to forgive and it was tearing him apart.

He heard the door open and braced himself, expecting to see Felicity’s disappointed gaze on him. Instead, he saw Diggle in the reflection of the door. The sound of “White Christmas” filled the study before Diggle closed the door behind him. 

“Hey,” Diggle said catching sight of Oliver by the doors leading out to the back lawn. “You need to get out here. Thea needs you, man. Your absence is becoming conspicuous.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m just…..”

Oliver rubbed a hand across his forehead. Diggle frowned in concern.

“What is it, Oliver?”

Oliver shook his head and shrugged, turning his head to look outside. 

“I’m just…..I don’t know, Diggle. I just can’t get into it. The holidays, the endless joyful spirit of everyone around me. I can’t. The office, the house, this party? It’s...my mother…..she loved Christmas….but I’m so angry. At her. Still. I thought I was over it. But then….I feel like I’m drowning.”

Diggle studied Oliver for a moment and then a small smile lifted his lips. He strode over and clasped Oliver on his shoulder.

“Thea is feeling the same way. She puts on a good act, but she’s sad. She misses your mom, Oliver. They planned this party together every year. So, she misses her. And she feels terrible that she misses her, especially since she knows what Moira did to Felicity. It amazed her that Felicity wanted to help with the party. Thea was surprised. She couldn’t believe Felicity would want to help her with one of….how did she put it...oh, yes… _ ”our evil, evil, witchy mother _ ’s” annual party.”

“Yes!” Oliver exclaimed bitterly. “But here we are….holding a party that was my mother’s favorite event.”

“Because of Felicity,” Diggle said quietly. “Felicity wanted to do this for you. For Thea.”

“Yes,” came Thea’s voice. “Because Felicity told me that just because our mother hurt her, betrayed us, that didn’t change all the good she gave us. The love she showered on us and the memories we made as a family long before the stupid Cadre and evil Tommy destroyed our family.” 

Diggle silently slipped out of the room, leaving the siblings together. Oliver stared at Thea a moment before turning back to the window.

“All of those memories are ruined,” he said quietly.

“Not all of them, Ollie,” Thea said. “I felt bad for missing mom. Terrible. I thought it meant that I didn’t care about what she did, what Tommy did because Mom helped him. But I was wrong.”

“How do you know?”

“Because Felicity told me. She told me it was okay to miss her. Because she was our mother. And that while our memories of her won’t be the same, Felicity said it’s not supposed to be the same. It should be different. And that was okay because every year, it would get a little easier. And we would make new memories. And new traditions.”

“This party is not a new tradition,” Oliver replied without rancor. 

“How do you know? You haven’t come out yet. The party is on the same night, but Oliver...this is our party. Your’s. Mine. Felicity’s.”

Oliver looked at her over his shoulder. His little sister stood there in a column of gold, older in ways that had nothing to do with age. She held her hand out and waited. Oliver looked back out into the dark night, and then turning his back on the shadows, he took her hand and led her back to the party. 

No one appeared to have noticed the Queen siblings disappearance from the party. As they entered the foyer, they were immediately greeted with cries of Merry Christmas. Oliver looked around him in surprise. When he had come down earlier, tugging at the tie of his tux, his intent had been to get to the study without being spotted. As a result, he didn’t even notice the decorations. The house looked nothing like the way his mother would decorate it. Instead of the glittering silver and gold, Oliver was once again confronted with red and gold. Thea squeezed his hand before guests claimed her attention. Oliver’s gaze wandered around foyer.

Thick garland studded with red and gold ornaments twined up the stairs to the galley overhead. Red velvet bows added a festive touch of whimsy. Flickering candles inside tall lanterns lit the room while the overhead chandelier was dimmed to its lowest settings. Vases of varying heights were filled with more red and gold ornaments. Clustered in the center of the round entryway table, the vases sparkled in the candlelight. Guests milled about, spilling into the living room and the enclosed patio. In the corners, tall Christmas trees were decorated with delicate ornaments of red with gold filigree swirling in varying patterns. The lights on the trees twinkled warmly, the gold tulle ribbons shining in their light. The fireplace was lined with more garland and more lanterns and vases decorated the space. An antique gold menorah took center stage on the mantel. Chanukah was over, but this was very clearly a message. There were new traditions in this house. Oliver’s heart jerked in his chest.

Red velvet covered chairs nestled in small clusters around low tables. Guests perched on their edges, drinking and laughing. There was no band, but music wafted through wireless speakers. The songs varied between Christmas music and more recent songs. The mood was light and sparkling. Vastly different from the somber, glittering affairs his mother hosted. The french doors to the patio were open, allowing guests to move freely between the living room and patio. More Christmas trees and lanterns dotted the area, melding the two rooms together. There were even more places to sit cozily on the patio. Oliver saw the discreet heaters that kept the space warm.

Oliver’s heart ached. It was his mother’s party. But not. The guests were the same and there were new ones. It was warm and inviting. Exactly as Felicity described. This wasn’t his mother’s party. It was her tradition, but this….this party belonged to Felicity and Thea. As he began threading his way through the crowd, he exchanged greetings with old friends while making new friends feel at home. His mother was mentioned repeatedly and after the first mention, hearing her name began bringing a sense of comfort. She wasn’t forgotten. Most didn’t realize the role she played in Tommy Merlyn’s downfall or the Cadre. To them, she was a victim of a heinous crime. Innocent. Oliver found that he didn’t mind their ignorance. He knew the truth. Felicity knew the truth. Thea knew the truth. That was all that mattered. As he wandered among the guests, the feeling in his chest began to lighten. A waiter brought him a glass of whiskey and Oliver raised a brow.

“Miss Smoak directed the staff to make sure your favorite whiskey was available to you this evening, Sir,” the waiter replied to the unspoken question. Of course, she did. Oliver accepted the glass and looked around for her. He didn’t see her. He made his way back to Thea who gave him a searching look. 

“Thea, this is amazing. Mom would be so proud of you. You’ve done the Queen tradition right. More than right.”

“You really think so?” she asked, a tremor in her voice and he kissed her forehead.

“I know so.”

The look of relief on her face and the way the tension fled her body made his heart ache. He saw what he couldn’t see earlier. What Thea told him in the study began to truly sink in. He wasn’t alone in the shadows. Oliver bowed his head in shame.

“I’m sorry, Speedy,” he said for her ears only and Thea’s eyes watered. She blinked rapidly and looked away.

“Me, too, Ollie. I’m sorry I couldn’t see how much you were hurting, too.”

Oliver slid an arm around her shoulders and hugged her to him. He looked around again, still not seeing Felicity. He knew she was there; she wouldn’t abandon Thea.

“Where’s Felicity?” he asked. Thea looked around and then smiled. She nudged him and lifted her chin back towards the foyer. Oliver followed the direction and felt his heart stop. He tried to breathe. The sound of guests and the music faded to a low hum as he watched Felicity make her entrance. He kept trying to take a breath but every smile she gave, every gesture she made...the way she moved….stole his breath over and over. Thea gave him a knowing smile.

“She’s pretty amazing,” she remarked and Oliver could only nod as his eyes tracked Felicity’s progress across the room. She wore a deep red gown made of some gauzy material that floated around her legs as she moved. It had a fitted bodice into the waist with spaghetti straps. From a knot where the strap met the bodice, a deeper red block strip ran from the left, draping in at the waist before running the full length of the skirt. When Felicity turned her back to him, he saw that the same deep red ran from the right of the low back to knot on the left side of her waist before falling into the skirt. He hair was pulled back loosely into some sort of bun. But all Oliver could see was the delicate line of her neck as she turned her head to laugh at something Diggle said. She hugged Lyla, her engagement ring flashing in the candle light. Oliver felt a surge of possessiveness when he realized it was the only jewelry she wore. At that moment, she turned her head and saw him. She let her gaze wander over him and then gave him that slow, sexy smile that made his heart stutter. He handed Thea his drink and she took it with a snarky grin.

Felicity met him halfway across the room, her eyes warm and filled with secrets known only to him. They stopped a mere few inches apart.

“You are breathtaking,” he whispered, his finger tracing the line of one the straps of her dress. He didn’t care how many eyes he felt on him in that moment. All he cared about was Felicity. She smiled up at him and then a mischievous look crept into her expression.

“You’re hot,” she informed him and Oliver threw his head back and laughed. He saw the surprise and then smiles as guests enjoyed the sight of a couple so very much in love. The music shifted to something slower and he slipped his arm around her waist, leading her into a dance. Harry Connick, Jr.’s rich voice singing about his heart finding Christmas made Oliver’s throat tighten. It was perfect. He spun Felicity around before pulling her tightly into his arms. He heard a collective sigh and his lips twitched.

“You just made every man in here feel inferior,” Felicity informed him as she let him lead her around the room. Other couples began to join them on the floor. 

“They should because you’re mine,” he stated baldly. Felicity clucked her tongue at him and he nuzzled her neck in response. He felt her pulse jump and he smiled.

“Thank you,” he suddenly said, drawing back to look at her. 

“For what?”

“For helping me find Christmas,” he replied simply. Felicity’s expression softened and she slid her arms around his neck as they moved around the room.

“It was always there, inside of you, Oliver. When you were ready to understand.”

“I thought I was betraying you.”

“Silly, beautiful man,” Felicity murmured, her fingers grazing the hair just above his collar. 

“Yeah…” Oliver sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

Their foreheads touched as they moved around the room. 

“I was thinking,” Felicity began, bringing one arm down to lay her hand against his heart. “I was thinking I would move in after the New Year.”

Oliver’s throat grew tight again. He could only nod in agreement. He cleared his throat, trying to speak past the ball of emotion.

“I would like that very much,” he said gruffly.

“And,” Felicity continued, “I thought a Christmas wedding next year. Something very small, very intimate for the ceremony. We could use the annual Christmas Eve party as our reception.”

“That sounds….perfect.”

Oliver bent his head and captured Felicity’s lips in a kiss that made her toes curl. She pressed herself against him as his fingers tightened on her hip. His other hand pressed into her lower back, bringing her impossibly closer. When they broke apart, Oliver gazed down into Felicity’s eyes. Love shimmered in the air between them. A quiet joy filled Oliver.

“Happy Chanukah, Felicity.”

“Happy Christmas, Oliver.” 


End file.
